XENU
HAS ENSLAVED THE HUMAN BEINGS
WITH HIS EVIL PSYCHIC INFLUENCE
AND L. RON HUBBARD ALONE FOUND IT OUT
AND HAS THE TREATMENT TO NEUTRALIZE IT
75.000.000 YEARS AGO
THE CUNNING ALIEN EMPEROR XENU
INFESTED HUMAN BEINGS' SOULS WITH
HUNDREDS OF ANNOYING INVISIBLE SPIRITS
WHICH MAKES THEM VULNERABLE TO
ILLNESS AND SORROWS
DEPRIVING THEM OF THEIR
GODLIKE POWERS
BUT NOW, BY FORKING OUT TO THE CULT
360.000 DOLLARS
THANKS TO THE PRODIGIOUS AND MIRACULOUS
SCIENTIFIC DISCOVERIES OF L. RON HUBBARD
WE'LL BE ABLE TO EXORCISE THESE SPIRITS
AND GET OUR OMNIPOTENCE BACK!
ALL THIS STARTED IN
WITH THE MAN DOOMED TO BECOME
THE BENEFACTOR OF THE CENTURY
THE PHILANTHROPIST L. RON HUBBARD
GREAT HUMANITARIAN, PHILOSOPHER, SCIENTIST
WRITER, POET, COMPOSER, ADVENTURER, PILOT
COMMANDER, EDUCATOR, QUACK AND SATANIST
